"Being Empowered When You Are Wrong"

Why are we so afraid of being wrong? From a young age, we're taught that being wrong is bad. We're punished to varying degrees, whether it's a simple scolding or, in some cases, more severe consequences like a spanking. These punitive measures cause us to hide our mistakes or wrongdoings, sometimes even to the point of lying about them.

The truth is, if we never admit that we're wrong, we never learn from our mistakes, which hinders our ability to grow as individuals. For example, when a child is in school and taking a test, the fear of being wrong might lead them to cheat in order to avoid punishment—whether they failed to study or just couldn't retain the material.

Carrying this type of behavior into adulthood can lead to serious problems. For instance, my wife has told me countless stories about her co-workers who constantly try to shift blame for their mistakes onto someone or something else. If they don't complete a report on time (or at all), they might say, "I was waiting on Sally for the information," or, "I never received the email regarding the report." I particularly love the "blame it on technology" excuse. As a software engineer, I can usually call BS when I hear that. These are just simple examples of the "not my fault" (NMF) mentality.

The fact is, we receive mixed messages as we grow up, making it difficult to understand how to handle mistakes. On the one hand, we’re supposed to learn from our mistakes to avoid repeating them. On the other hand, we’re punished for making mistakes in the first place. This fear of punishment makes it hard to admit our wrongdoings, especially when the mistakes were unintentional. That’s when lying often comes into play to cover them up.

We need to admit our faults if we’re going to learn from them and grow as people. Constantly blaming external factors makes it hard to focus on our own shortcomings, preventing us from correcting our mistakes or finding better ways to handle situations.

Admitting fault doesn't just help us grow on an individual level—it also fosters trust and accountability in our relationships. Whether it's at work, in friendships, or in family dynamics, people tend to appreciate honesty over perfection. Admitting you're wrong shows vulnerability, but it also demonstrates maturity and a willingness to learn. This can lead to stronger, more meaningful connections with those around you because they know you're not afraid to take responsibility for your actions.

In the workplace, this openness to being wrong can have tremendous benefits. Leaders who admit their mistakes encourage a culture of transparency, where employees feel safe to admit their own errors. This kind of environment boosts creativity and problem-solving because people aren’t afraid to experiment or take risks, knowing that failure is just a step toward improvement. On the contrary, an organization that discourages admitting mistakes often stifles innovation, as employees are more focused on covering their tracks than on finding creative solutions.

The fear of being wrong is also deeply ingrained in social situations. We're conditioned to think that being wrong equals embarrassment, but that fear limits us from fully expressing ourselves. Imagine how many interesting conversations or ideas never happen because someone was too afraid of saying something incorrect. In reality, admitting ignorance on a topic can open the door to learning something new. Instead of worrying about being wrong, we should focus on the potential to expand our understanding.

That said, there’s a balance to be struck between owning mistakes and obsessing over them. While it’s crucial to acknowledge when we’re wrong, it's just as important not to dwell on our errors. Beating ourselves up over a mistake only perpetuates a cycle of guilt and shame. Instead, we should view mistakes as opportunities for growth, correct the course, and move forward with newfound wisdom. Every mistake has a lesson to offer, but that lesson is wasted if we spend too much time wallowing in regret.

In the end, being wrong is not the catastrophe we often make it out to be. It’s part of being human, part of our learning process, and part of our collective journey toward becoming better versions of ourselves. Embrace your mistakes, learn from them, and take ownership. It’s the only way to truly grow, both as individuals and as a society.

The bottom line is: if you make a mistake, **OWN IT**! Instead of lying, take responsibility for your actions. If you examine your faults, you can add that knowledge to your self-awareness. The power of self-awareness and self-evaluation will help you become a better person.

"Know thy faults in order to better thyself.",

—Me...

Coding in a Vacuum, 5x5

 5x5, what the heck is that you may ask.  It is based on an old military term relating to the quality of the communications being sent and received.  5x5 being of the best quality possible for the most part.

  I chose this blog title as to poke a little fun at myself for the most part because even if you have the best communications possible, or 5x5, doing so in a vacuum would more of less make for a perfectly silent signal because it is a single user-party line.  :)

  I have been coding for a very long time, more years than I care to omit to only because it makes me feel older than I really want to at time.  However as with many things with age comes a larger scope of experience to call back on to accomplish certain tasks.  More often than not these days those experiences are adding up to mean less-and-less just due to the nature of technology in general.  I'm sure a lot of techie people have heard it said that 6-months is ancient since things develop very rapidly.

 The purpose of this blog is to chronicle some of the project idea I either working on or have completed on my own time over a period of years.  Some of you may find these ideas interesting, while others will find them as exciting as a bag of rocks.  Either way I welcome anyone to read and as always comments are appreciated if nothing else to let me know that someone has actually found what I'm writing and took the time to tell me it sucked... or that they actually may have like it either in part of in is entirety.

  So over the next couple of months as I gather my project notes together and post the content dump of my brain, feel free to read and dispose as necessary.

  And away we go...

Do You Know The Person In The Mirror?

  Do you know who you are?  No really.  Are you really aware of who you really are as far as your personality?  This includes you strengths, weaknesses, flaws, habits, quirks, and so on.  In order to really know who you are you have to have one important thing called "self-awareness".  That is the kind of thing where you step outside of your self, not literally, and evaluate the things you do on almost a daily basis.

  Most people do not have the ability to "self-evaluate" themselves because they are so busy just living their lives that they don't stop and watch what they are doing as a kind of sanity-check.  It's an important thing to take the time to do in order to know if things you are doing are good, bad, stupid, or brilliant.

  For instance the way you interact with people would be a good example.  Have you ever had a confrontation with someone?  After it was over did you ask you self things like "Could I have handled that better?" or "Should I have just punched them in the nose and gotten it over with?".   I'm just kidding about the punching some in the nose.  I by no means advocate violence in any situation other than self-defense.

  Many time when we have instance of interaction with other people there are many ways to handle things, but many people are on what I like to call "auto-pilot" where they do not stop and think about what they say or do, but instead they just act or react without pause.  If people would take the time to look back on how they handle situations they may find that sometime just the smallest change in what they did or said may have made a huge impact on the outcome.

 I am constantly reflecting on how I do things sometimes to the point that I shutter about when I think "That was really stupid." or "Why did I say that?".  Unfortunately we can't change the past, but we can certainly learn from it, hopefully.

 Learning from our past does not mean just the things we say or how we interact with other people.  This include our actions as well, like driving excessive speed on the freeway and getting a ticket.  Many people would probably be thinking about the ticket more than why they got it in the first place, but some people would be thinking why did I decide to speed at all.  Who do you think is most likely to learn from that mistake in this situation?  The person thinking about the ticket or the person reflecting back asking why they did it in the first place.

 These are just some small examples about how some people reflect back on their actions and some people only look forward.  It is a good idea to look back from time to time and do a little self-evaluation.  Many people have heard the phrase that if we do not learn from the past we are doomed to repeat it.  I think that is a good mantra for moving forward in life.

The Low Down of Being Superior

  I'm amazed at the level of stupidity I see on a daily basis, but yet I have to consider that more than likely someone out there would also add me to that same list.  We all have our faults and flaws and for some their day would not be complete without pointing out someone else's short-comings just to raise themselves a notch of two on the ladder of their own self-worth.

  I myself am guilty of doing just that on more than one occasion and for what reason I still do not know.  For some reason there is something rewarding about feeling superior to others no matter how true it is or not.  Why do you think they have things like contests, marathons, competitions and so on.

  Being better than the next person is rewarded in many different facets of our society, but not all.  There are many different ways that having superiority over thy fellow man is not a good thing.  Especially when it means the potential of demonstrating it will actually do harm be it mental or physical or both.

  Almost every single species on this planet is competitive mating, territory, or food, but we are the only species that I can think of that is just outright mean or vicious just because we can be.  You don't see examples of animals killing one another if they have a bad day, but humans can and have done just that.